How is Bradley These Day’s

It’s been a long, long time.  Ancient in cyberworld.  But, here I am trying to revive this blog once again.  It was so much a part of me, in many ways it defined me, however I didn’t seem to miss it enough to begin blogging again.  For those who have stuck with me waiting for my return, well, I hope I’m back for good this time.  I feel, once again, that it’s important to give my blog another kick in the ass, but, I’ve been saying that for several years now.  What makes it different this time?  What if this is another one of the many posts I’ve made that said, “Here I am”, or “Now I’m back again.”  I can only say that it feels like it is coming from my heart once again.  I refuse to make any more guarantees,  I’m only going to guarantee to myself that I am back.

Enough of the sobbing.  What has Bradley Been Up To?  Well, let’s see:

BiPolar Disorder
I don’t go to a bipolar support group group anymore.  The one I went to was in Long Beach which is too far and difficult to reach on my own.  There’s also a bit of arrogance in me now that tells me I’m so better off.   My meds are keeping me much more balanced than any of “those” people.

I did start a support group. I had a small group each week and a few people were coming every week, but it just never grew.  I had the meetings at my church, which is difficult for some people to find and it is nowhere near any public transportation.  I tried to get meeting spaces at other churches, libraries and some hospitals, but was never able to find a better home so I shut it down.  It hurt.

As for me, I am so much better.  It took a long time, but slowly each week I got a little better and better.  Nothing even close to the crazy guy who started this blog.  Fortunately, I am taking less meds..  I am taking only 6 meds each day.  That may sound a lot to some, but I know some folks who take as many as 20 pills daily.  Bipolar disorder and meds are a tricky business.  What works for some may not work for others so it can be a long rigorous path to find the right mix for each individual.  Currently I think we’ve found the right mix for me.  The biggest challenge I face these days is memory.  Some have told me that it’s likely to be from the meds, my doctor tells me it’s just part of aging   I think they are all incorrect.  My poor memory is the same as as it was before I was diagnosed as bipolar, which is why I don’t believe it’s the meds, or at least not entirely.  My doctor telling me it’s part of aging – I don’t think he has a grasp as to how bad it is.  He just scratched his beard after I told him that I had visited my daughter 3 years ago, but I was insistant that it had only been 3 months.

I came back to view the post above.  I wrote it a few weeks ago but was distracted and never posted.  Honestly, I was surprised to find I wrote it over a month agao.  I thought it had only been two weeks.  Yep, there’s that memory problem again.   I’ll keep posting a bit here and a bit there or hopefully on  a regular basis.  This post is my first step in catching all of you up to where I am today.   I must admit that I did come here because my depression is really kicking my ass today.  Fortunately I don’t have them as often as I use to.