Category: anxiety

Under Pressure

Once again I’m finding myself under a lot of pressure, today starting with overeating.   Yesterday, Maurice and I, walked down to a BBQ restaurant in our neighborhood and I ate like a king.   A gluttonous king, of course.   Then we went to the movies and I had a large dark chocolate bar.  Then, when we got home […]

Under My Skin

It’s back again…or did it ever leave? I’m talking about that mix of anxiety and depression that flows through my veins. A couple of months ago I mentioned it never goes away and, yep, it’s still here. It’s not in my veins, actually. It feels more like there’s a second layer of skin directly beneath […]

Impending Doom

I worry. I fret, I fear, I agonize, I stress, and I get anxious. For the last several days, however, I’ve been dealing with something I’ve never felt before – impending doom. I don’t know where’s it’s coming from. I don’t know why I’m feeling it. But it’s there, looming over me ready to strike. […]

The Best Bradley I Can Be

I’ve had many good things in my life. I have much to be grateful for. However, life has been hell. The confusion, memory loss, insecurities, manic episodes, depressive episodes and all the negative self talk made for some miserable times. I was relieved when I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Finally it had a […]

Study Time

It’s study time today. I’m preparing for a difficult Cultural Anthropology exam next week. Just a few years ago I couldn’t leave the apartment and now I’m in college. It’s been an exciting, but difficult experience. I sometimes think I’ve gone back too soon. More than sometimes, actually. In honesty, I think it a lot […]

Beneath the Epidermis

The shaking never stops. Even on good days, like yesterday, it’s still there. You can’t see it, but it’s there, nested beneath the surface of the skin, inter-mingled with the anxiety and depression. I can only hope that someday they all will release their grip on me. Just like the painful knots forever between my […]

What Makes Maurice so Amazing

Maurice and I met online. Our first date was like a dream. We spent the night laying on the beach under a full moon while we talked for hours. The night went perfect in every way and we both knew this was going to be more than a one night gig. We spent a lot […]

Frustration

I have friends who talk about how awful their pdocs (psychiatrist) are. They claim their pdoc never listens to what they say, and won’t make any med changes even when asked. It feels, at times, they are talking about Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde.  I always felt lucky. The pdoc I first worked with, Doctor Lisa, would spend a […]

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