I’m special. Not only that, I’m special amongst the special. To top that I’m actually special amongst those who are special amongst the special. What the hell am I talking about? I’m talking about percentages. Statistics and percentages are a tricky thing when referring to the mentally ill. Considering the vast number of homeless who […]
Category: bipolar disease
Crazies With Guns
“We have no national database of these lunatics… We have a completely cracked mentally ill system that has these monsters walking the streets.” — Wayne LaPierre, Executive Vice President NRA Don’t want what monsters, Mr LaPierre? What do you consider a lunatic? What mental illness would require an individual to be tracked to ensure we […]
Less Than
I was sitting on the couch yesterday afternoon reviewing my life last week. On Thursday I posted that Mondays are normally difficult for me. I’m typically exhausted from the weekend so I usually become depressed and listless. But that didn’t happen last week. It was good. It didn’t stop on Monday. I continued to feel […]
Depression? Mania? Does it matter?
Last week, when I was strugging with depression, I had to ask myself “Are you really depressed or do you just have the blues?” When I’m having a day that I feel especially good I have to ask myself “Are you really feeling extra good or are you manic?” On the one hand I’d like […]
Maurice
The past couple of posts I’ve referred to Maurice as being an amazing man. Only six months after moving in together my mental health began to deteriorate very quickly. Though it was early in our relationship, he didn’t run for the hills. He stayed by my side and helped in more ways than I can […]
What Makes Maurice so Amazing
Maurice and I met online. Our first date was like a dream. We spent the night laying on the beach under a full moon while we talked for hours. The night went perfect in every way and we both knew this was going to be more than a one night gig. We spent a lot […]
What? A Med Change? OMG I Thought I Was Over With This.
I can’t believe it. That thumping is the sound of me banging my head against the wall. I thought the meds I was taking were over and done with. I know they’ll have to be tweaked from time to time for the rest of my life, but, I thought I’d get a break. Unfortunately I’ve […]
Sermon
As usual, our minister will be on sabbatical this summer, which means we bring in guest ministers and speakers during that time. I asked if I could take a Sunday and my wonderful minister said yes. I’m so excited that I’ve already started on my sermon which is not until July. The sermon topic? – […]
Things not so good in my brain right now.
I just wrote a post that gave a good update regarding my life. Somehow an accidental click somewhere and it was all gone. I’ve never had that happen. Anyway, I’ll just say that I’m full of anxiety and depression. Most of it was about not being able to see my daughter because of my lack […]
Frustration
I have friends who talk about how awful their pdocs (psychiatrist) are. They claim their pdoc never listens to what they say, and won’t make any med changes even when asked. It feels, at times, they are talking about Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. I always felt lucky. The pdoc I first worked with, Doctor Lisa, would spend a […]