Before getting sober, over nine years ago, I struggled for survival. I slept on a lot of peoples couches, but after being sober for six months I was homeless. No one was willing to take me In anymore. I was losing hope. All my old friends were gone. I eventually understood that there weren’t friends […]
Category: depression
I’m A Rapid Cycler, But I Don’t Own a Bike
I’m special. Not only that, I’m special amongst the special. To top that I’m actually special amongst those who are special amongst the special. What the hell am I talking about? I’m talking about percentages. Statistics and percentages are a tricky thing when referring to the mentally ill. Considering the vast number of homeless who […]
Less Than
I was sitting on the couch yesterday afternoon reviewing my life last week. On Thursday I posted that Mondays are normally difficult for me. I’m typically exhausted from the weekend so I usually become depressed and listless. But that didn’t happen last week. It was good. It didn’t stop on Monday. I continued to feel […]
Depression? Mania? Does it matter?
Last week, when I was strugging with depression, I had to ask myself “Are you really depressed or do you just have the blues?” When I’m having a day that I feel especially good I have to ask myself “Are you really feeling extra good or are you manic?” On the one hand I’d like […]
The Darkness Fades
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” William Gibson’s quote above has been one of my favorites regarding depression. Using the quote as a gauge I can definitely say I was depressed last week because I was not surrounded by […]
My Arch Nemisis Has Come Back – Depression
The past couple of days have been like the old days. That evil creature, depression, has come back to haunt me. It’s not like it’s ever gone away. I feel depression flowing through my veins every second of every day. The difference is it’s back with a vengeance this time. I wish I could say […]
Maurice
The past couple of posts I’ve referred to Maurice as being an amazing man. Only six months after moving in together my mental health began to deteriorate very quickly. Though it was early in our relationship, he didn’t run for the hills. He stayed by my side and helped in more ways than I can […]
What Makes Maurice so Amazing
Maurice and I met online. Our first date was like a dream. We spent the night laying on the beach under a full moon while we talked for hours. The night went perfect in every way and we both knew this was going to be more than a one night gig. We spent a lot […]
Not So Much Today
Having a tough day today. At school and feeling depressed. I think the increase in meds may have something to do with it. Could be because I’m not getting enough sleep. I think it’s probably both. Either way, no real post today. Just a reminder tomorrow is “Caption This Wednesday.” It should be fun and […]
Sermon
As usual, our minister will be on sabbatical this summer, which means we bring in guest ministers and speakers during that time. I asked if I could take a Sunday and my wonderful minister said yes. I’m so excited that I’ve already started on my sermon which is not until July. The sermon topic? – […]