I worry. I fret, I fear, I agonize, I stress, and I get anxious. For the last several days, however, I’ve been dealing with something I’ve never felt before – impending doom. I don’t know where’s it’s coming from. I don’t know why I’m feeling it. But it’s there, looming over me ready to strike.
I have a lot going on these days. I’ve overloaded myself by taking on too much at church. I have finals coming up in 1 1/2 weeks. I’m trying to determine when I’ll be able to visit my daughter this summer. Even worse, I don’t know how I’ll pay for the trip. I’m fretting over what classes to take coming up in the Fall semester.
My list goes on. All of these things are creating a lot of anxiety in my life right now. I don’t like to feel so anxious, but I’m use to it. This impending doom feeling is not something I’m use to.
I don’t believe in psychic ability, so you’d think I could shrug it off, but I can’t. What I’m feeling feels real. It’s up there looking down on me and it’s going to turn my world into a living hell.
There’s not much I can do about this feeling I’m feeling. The only thing I know I can do is hunker down and wait for whatever it is to happen. Logically, I know all will remain right with the world and this feeling of doom will pass. I don’t know when, but I’ll be damn grateful when it finally does.
I have found this form of anxiety to be a part of my depression at times when I am feeling overwhelmed like you are now…try to ride it out and reach out for support…it will get better!
Thank you, Patti, I have been reaching out and I’m happy that I’m in a place now where friends reach right back to me.
One thing I’ve done when I’ve gone through periods like this is “tailor-design” my devotional readings with more reassuring passages (reminding me God is in control). Also, I recommend the Puritan prayer book “The Valley of Vision” which you can obtain on-line.
I’ll be praying for you.
Brad, from this and your other recent posts it sounds like your meds are seriously, seriously, seriously not working now. Do you see your doctor soon?
I see him in a couple of weeks, Lora. He recently adjusted my meds because I was too manic. Looks like I’m going through one of those tweek it here and tweek it there periods. That sometimes can take a bit of time since you don’t want to go too crazy trying to find the right cocktail.
It’s easy for me to say but this too shall pass. You’ve got a lot on your plate and your in the middle of tweaking your meds. Hang in there…it’ll be over soon!
You are right, Michele, this to shall pass. It’s just damned uncomfortable waiting for that to happen.
As my mother often said to me growing up, ‘This too shall pass.’ It’s not exactly the warmest sentiment, but stoicism is sometimes the best thing for the hunkering down period.
Your mother was right. Though I love nothing more than to laugh, stoicism has it’s place when needed.