Mood
I still dealt with anxiety last week, but nothing compared to the one prior. I was able to enjoy the long Memorial Day weekend, and pretty much the rest of the week, with just a few panic like moments that I was able to deal with by breathing and meditation.
I am frustrated with my pdoc. I told him how bad my anxiety had been and his response was that “we all have our ups and downs.” I told him that he was right, but not “all of us” have anxiety so bad that we shake in fear and cannot even put toothpaste on a toothbrush. He responded by changing the subject.
In addition to my frustration over his blowing off my anxiety, I still can’t get an answer as to why he sees it necessary to see me every month. I’m usually high functioning and there are many, who I believe, are worse off than I who only sees their pdoc once every 90 days. He’s repeatedly told me how swamped they’ve gotten and the only logical reasoning I can think of is he keeps me at monthly because I’m easy to deal with. We chat for about 30 minutes (usually not about my mental health) and then he sends my prescriptions to my drug store via email. These are the same meds I’ve been taking for years now. Nothing has changed!
My pdoc is with the local county mental health clinic and some of you rightly suggested that I fill out one of the forms requesting a new doctor, but it’s not that easy. First, as much as he frustrates me, I’ve gotten to know him well and like him. I enjoy our chats and feel comfortable with him.
The other, more important reason is that he is one of the heads of the department. If I request a new doctor, they’ll likely assign me to one of the resident psychiatrists on staff, and guess who they report to? Yep, my podc. So the reality is nothing will change.
Weight and Fitness
On Saturday, May 28 I weighed 263.0 lbs.
On Saturday, June 04 I weighed 259.8
Total loss last week: 3.2 lbs.
I don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth, but how the hell did that happen? Memorial day was last week and I ate more than my fair share of everything over that 3-day weekend. I didn’t do much better during the week and did NO, and I mean NO exercise. Whatever led to the loss, I’m ecstatic. What a great way to start the month.
Writing
I’m back at it. I have my scheduled time for writing and I’m moving forward once again. A small goal is just one chapter a week and that has been very doable. When I finished a chapter, I didn’t just sit on my hands – I went on to the next. My real goal has been 1,000 words a day, which I haven’t reached yet, but I’m close.
Details to come next week.
Synopsis
Pleased as punch
Congrats on the huge weight loss. I guess I have to be happy with staying the same weight last week. It beats gaining. I can understand your docs reluctance to change your meds. You know how hard they are to adjust, and like you said, you are mostly good. I remember when your meds were so out of whack. You really don’t want to go back to that place. You used to meditate regularly. Are you doing that? Could that help the anxiety?
The meditation would definitely help. I know this because Maurice can tell the difference if I have or not. I keep telling myself I don’t have time. I think I need to make the time. Thank you, Deb
what a great week you’ve had! Well done on the weight loss. xxx
Thank you. It was a great week and I hope my winning streak continues
I have been meaning to come for days to let you know how proud I am of your weight loss. I didn’t know you used to meditate and that it helped you. That’s something I’ve been recommended to do by both my therapist and my psychiatrist, but I keep resisting it. Please keep us posted on that.
I hope that you’re having a great week so far. I want the best for you because you are a totally awesome person, and let’s not forget groovy!
Have a Sunshine Day! 😉
Your faithful Lose It! buddy,
Dy
Dang, I meant comment!!! I read your post as soon as you published it, LOL
You never cease to make me laugh, dyane. Merry Sunshine Day to you too
Congratulations, Bradley. Great work on all fronts. Now that my meds have me pretty evened out, my Pdoc won’t give me anything for my anxiety either. He feels we’ve gotten me to a point where I can manage it on my own. And I do but it sure is uncomfortable at times.
It is uncomfortable. Though I’m totally for meds because I’m confident they saved my life, I don’t think they should be taken unnecessarily, but I still think I need something more for the anxiety. I’m sure you know how debilitating they can be. Maurice says he definitely can see the difference whether I’m meditating or not. I’m going to have to get back at it.
I don’t recommend anxiety medication. In my experience they made me more anxious over time and I kept needing more and more. Let’s start a meditation support group, like weight watchers, to encourage each other.
That’s a good idea. Let’s do it