It’s been such a while, I have so much going on that It’s hard to decide where to start: 

First:  My bipolar is more under control, but still not where I’d like it to be.  I still have manic days and depressive days, but the pendulum doesn’t swing towards manic as much as it use too. Despite the fact that mania is not really fun mania, I do miss it.   I still have depressive days and they affect me  most.  When they come  I don’t want to do anything.  I just want to stay in bed all day, not bathe and keep the shutters closed.  That sounds like a nice Saturday morning on a cold, wet day, but not as fun. 

Second:  My short term memory really sucks.  If I carry on a conversation with someone today, it’s possible that I won’t remember any of it tomorrow.  Movies are a good way to measure my progress.  Maurice and I have gone to see Transformers 3, three times, and I still can’t tell you anything about it.  One night we were watching one of the Bourne movies at the theater.  The fast action was too much for me to handle so I stepped outside to the bathroom.  When my business was done I couldn’t figure where to go and which theater we were in.  I wound up sitting on a bench and covered my eyes so people wouldn’t know I was crying.  I eventually found my way back.  The best part of this is that every time I go to a  movie or watch a show on tv, it’s like seeing it for the very first time. 

Third: My weight.  I went to my GP and he was surprised that tests showed me in near perfect health.  My blood pressure was good, I showed no signs whatsoever of being diabetic, etc.  Needless, to say, however, he’s concerned about my weight.  Being 295lbs, I don’t blame him.  He referred me to a physician to explain and persuade me to get a gastric bypass.  Maurice is concerned about it.   The one concern I do have is we have no idea what my insurance covers and what it doesn’t.  It’s a really long process to do this and I have lots of stuff I have to do to prepare.  I have to see their psychiatrist, their nutritionist, attend a couple of support meetings, and have a lot of tests as well.  Should I go with it, the entire process takes about 6 months before I would go into surgery.  More on that to come…

My GP explained that since I’m 48 now, and my bipolar meds have pretty much whiped out my metabolism, that he thinks I have no other option. 

Am I going to have it done?  Not sure.  One of the requirements I must do within the next 6 months is to lose 35 lbs.  Now wait a minute.  I’m being told that the surgery is necessary because I can’t lose weight, however I’m suppose to lose over 30 pounds.  Okay, okay, the surgery has more to do with keeping the weight off, as well as losing weight, but come on…

My post seems kind of sad and dry more than I usually like.  I’m a bit rusty.  I’ll be back in action after a few more posts.